Dear Parents,
You might have caught yourself saying “you’re so smart!” (followed by a pinch on the cheek) when you genuinely thought that your child has done something amazing. But little did you know, your “smart” praise may actually do more harm than good.
“Am I really that smart?” “How do I get more smart praises?”
These questions will pop up in our child’s head because children love the “smart” praise – they feel good inside, so good that they would crave for more. As a result, they become afraid to make mistakes, they fear to try because if they do something wrong, you will no longer think that they are smart.
So does this mean you can no longer praise your child? Nope, of course not! In fact, you should praise them! But instead of saying “smart”, praise your child by focusing on their behaviour or actions so that your child will know which positive behavior/action brought home the praise. Eventually, they will know what to do in order to get more of such praise from you.
Here’s a tip! Try “Boy/Girl, good job! You did well because you spend time revising your work and paying attention in class. Keep it up!”
Instead of “Boy/Girl, you are so smart!”
Want to double the effect of your praise? Try using a non-verbal cue and put a light tap on their shoulder the moment you are done with the praise. It’s like putting a cherry on top!
With love,
Teacher Deddy
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